If you looked through my website, you might've noticed my character's profile pages. It might be obvious, but I pour my heart out to my characters, their world. At times, I am so immersed in the world which I created that I feel apart of it. It's a beautifually unadulterated joy, an emotion that I am sure many writers and artists alike have experienced. Especially when you create the characters witnin the world - You can't help but to protect them like they're your own child. Except, I'd only say there's one particular curse to this magical feeling that upsets me, knowing that I will one day have to depart from my creation.
I've actually been off-and-on with my story until this point. When I first started Song of The Cursed Swan, I only created Cedric as the love interest. But, it's not entertaining enough for a story to include only one male love interest, so I created Lucian. Both Cedric and Lucian were knights with no real complexities. As I evolved the complexities of my characters and its world, I furthered my bonds to them. It was, and still is, a wonderful experience. The only problem is, these progresses are small in comparision to the lengths of the years that I experienced. If I continue this pace in my story, I will never get it done - even when I am 30. And so, I decided I truly wanted to dedicate myself to this story. As a teenager, I would start and stop projects, even comics with an intriging plotline. I still believe I do that in some scene, which is why I need to force myself out of it. When I say that the story concept contains an intruging plot, I say that as a teenager perspective, I certainly wouldn't want to recreate what I previously did.
I believe the most difficult part of storytelling is creating a balance between reality and fiction. I desperately want my world to feel real, for my characters to be real. But if they represent too closely to the real life counterapart, then they're not truly in a fantasy world, only real life. It will be difficult, but I believe in myself, even if it takes hours on end. I've never felt so motivated to complete a story before, I truly want this project to be the one where I don't leave it.
As for other thoughts, I realised the awfully obvious truth. We are all beautiful. When I look at other people, I only see the humanness in them, the beauty of humanity. And yet, when we look at ourselves, we doubt our own beauty. Often, our reality is defined by our thoughts, however those thoughts are influenced by the world around us, even by our family and the ones we hold dear to us. I realised that I am not responsible for someone else's reality, similarly only I am responsible for my own. If those thoughts are influenced by negativity, then it is easy to see negativity within us, whether it is downplaying our skills or doubting our beauty. Depending on what our mind focuses on, our mind interprets people's behaviour as signs of ugliness or prettiness. Someone is avoiding you? They either hating looking at ugly people or feel intimidated by beautiful people. Yet, we fail to forget that it was never our appearance that distances people from us, but rather confidence. Which is why confidence is a great deal to beauty, because it highlights what already exists.