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I'm really thankful for my dog walker client. Ever since I met her last year in october, it's been a wonderful experience. She might have her downsides, but she's considerate, funny, and reliable. Even though I only walk her dog, she does so much for me. Apparently I talk to her more than majority of people, which makes me a little sad for her situation. I can tell that she is a lonely person - maybe that is why we get along. Because we know the hardship of being alone.

Now, onto why I am thankful for my dog walker client... Since I am still on my learners, she drives me to her house and takes me back home. Recently, I told her that I'm trying to get my hours for nighttime drives. All of the sudden, she said she could do it with me. I was utterly grateful. Since Monday, she comes at night and we drive together. Most of the time it is silence in the car, but it's nice to merely listen to the music. I'm really close to getting my Ps for my car license, it's an exciting thought to drive alone. Then I will be able to drive to events, take my friends places, become a lending hand. Most importantly, I hope to apply for volunteering once I can drive by myself.

Recently I've been afraid of spending money for myself. A good example is spending money on food since it costs so much and it doesn't help that I am on a diet so I can't have any fast food. But what helped me to snap out of it is by telling myself, "I have to eat. It's an necessity." Without food I wouldn't be alive, without healthy food I wouldn't look healthy either. I have to buy food no matter what and the purpose of money is to provide for yourself. Now that I rid of myself from that fear, I'm doing a lot more better. I tell myself that I have money for the sake of being healthy and now I'm able to freely spend money on dentist and naturopath, general things that are important for my health. The greatest privilege is to be healthy, of course. And I want to obtain and keep it for as long as I can.

I have to admit, I've also been lingering in my past recently. I've been obsessing over who I was as a kid, what I looked like, what I could've been... All of that. I've been trying to obtain photos of myself from the past, as unhealthy as it seems. The thing is, I gained weight as a teenager. My body wasn't fat, but my cheeks were chubby. I couldn't recognise myself from my past. I lost the fatness at 19 and now I can finally see resemblance of my younger self again. I admit, I experience an identity crisis sometimes because of my constant change of physical self. My memory loss doesn't help me to feel a little lost in my past too, but I do remember certain things if I try long enough, even if it hurts. But I feel like the best way for me to heal is to obsess over it. I did it with my "crush", where the feelings slowly faded away. Perhaps I can do it with this issue as well?

Overall, I am happy. I know I sound like I am complaining half the time, only so I can reflect on my improvements, but it is the truth. In fact, I am the happiest I've been in a long time. I'm still struggling with juggling things... But that is okay. I'm happy with life, I'm happy with the position I am in today.